I’ve decided that my thirties have taught me more about loving myself and being true to myself than any other age. My mom used to tell me all the time that I didn’t need to wear makeup, that I was beautiful without it. But, I mean...she’s my mom...of course she’s going to tell me that.
If you’ve read my blogs before, you know that I deal with depression, so I won’t get into that here. However, to be honest there were so many times that I didn’t wear makeup and didn’t care what I looked like because the depression had taken complete control of me. I used to cut and color my hair when I wasn’t happy because I felt like it would make me happy. If I looked completely different, then I’d act completely different, right? I thought if I put on some makeup, everyone would think I was okay and then I could pretend I’d be okay and then everything would ACTUALLY be okay. No...that’s not how that works. That’s not how any of this works.
As a thirty something, I’ve found this new self-confidence that I haven’t had before. I still have my moments, but who doesn’t right? I’m overweight and I struggle with that daily, but I’ve figured out that I just need to be true to myself. It’s who I am right now and I have a lot going for me other than worrying about if people think I’m fat or not. The weight will come off, but I have to be happy in order for that to happen.
I have finally stopped chopping my hair off. It’s the longest it’s ever been and I finally have a color that I absolutely love and makes me feel like ME. I’ve started playing with makeup and learning how to do highlighting, contouring, and smokey eyes. I feel gorgeous when I do my makeup. BUT here’s the kicker...I also feel gorgeous when I DON’T do my makeup. In fact, most days at work you’ll see me with my hair in a ponytail and only wearing some mascara - and I’m TOTALLY okay with that. I’m me. I love who I am in this stage of my life.
This new self-confidence thing is amazing. As a full-time student, full-time employee, a daughter, a sister, a dog mom, a friend and so much more…it’s a struggle to wake up and do makeup and hair every day. I like sleep way too much and I don’t get enough of it. It’s an amazing feeling knowing that I feel confident enough in myself to walk out the door either completely made-up, or in sweats and a ball cap with no makeup and still feel the same way.
I hope no one takes this as “wow, she thinks a lot of herself.” That’s not it at all. I just wish everyone felt comfortable enough in their own skin. It took me way too long to figure this out. Be you, figure out what makes you happy. Everything else falls into place.
